3 Survival 101
by moissanitej@gmail.comThe Gardens
Jinx was basically left in a huge garden. Like, it was gigantic. Nobody gave instructions. She wandered around. Ooh, that’s pretty. The flowers were gorgeous. As she kept wandering straight, she eventually saw more people. None of them human, but that was good. The less humans, the better for her. She wandered around, looking at her strange environment. There were walls, easily jumped around. Vines hung around for extra decoration on the walls. There were gates too.
There were sidewalks as well, which Jinx switched to. This place is half nice, and half the creepiest place I’ve ever been. She ran into a decorative fountain, running water. And two people in it in a compromising situation, so she turned away. What the hell is going on? She ran into a bed. Yep, a bed. In a garden. More and more, she didn’t like this place. She went ahead and scaled the walls, to look over and study the area.
Benches, sidewalks, fountains, food stands, more walls, more vines, and more beds. More beds than benches. “One of these things is not like the other.” For believing in romance and love, this owner of hers, Madame Jeb, sure did have a lot of beds.
Jinx moved back down. She was going to have to talk someone to figure out what was going on.
“Hello, oh a new one? Aren’t you unique? Welcome, I’m-“
Jinx flipped the guy as he tried to touch her. Now where am I going to find someone to talk to? She wasn’t messing with that guy, the few people she had seen so far were basically kissing, hugging, interacting or had the hots for each other no one would be doing in public. Hate this place. Hate this place. Hate this place.
“Hello?” Another person approached her. Once again, male.
Once again, she kicked his butt, but deciding to fetch some information this time, she shoved her foot against his throat. “Tell me about this place.” She loosened up enough on him so he could breathe.
“New?” he managed. “Your strong.”
“I thought this place was supposed to be fashioning romance, why is everyone around here a horny dog?” Guys she could understand, but the girls were just as bad.
“Oh? I guess the spells don’t work on you? Oh, crap.”
Spells? Yeah, that’d explain it.
“If I tell you where to go, will you let me breathe?”
Jinx took her boot off his windpipe.
He took a deep breath. “Wow. The right kind of person-“
She shoved him up against the wall, and pressed her elbow against his windpipe. “That didn’t sound like you telling me where to go.”
“Oh. Sorry. Yes. Just? Tight.”
“Tighter?” She pressed against him harder.
“No, no. Looser.” She loosened against him, a little. “That way, to the right, follow the sidewalk all the way, and when it splits direction, go to the left fork in the road.”
Hopefully it wasn’t a goose chase. If it was, she’d come back and kill him. She moved to the right and kept following the sidewalk. When it split direction, she took the left fork and kept walking until she ran into something interesting.
It was a group of two men, and four women. They were all near each other, but none of them were kissing or anything.They each had lots of tails. That’s new. She moved toward them.
They all went on guard as she moved closer. All of the women anyhow.
“We have enough here. We don’t need a fourth,” one of them told her. “Leave.”
“Love spells don’t work on me. Clearly they don’t work on you.” Jinx would have to have decent communication with this group. “How are you getting away with this?”
“We get away with nothing!” One of them sounded panicked. “We love the guys, they are wonderful.”
Bull. They were hiding something. So? Jinx grabbed one of the guys. “My love language is fighting, what’s yours?”
The others tried to stop her, but the smart idiot spoke up.
“It’s fine, ladies. She is just gung-ho and new, that’s all. I will spend time with the new woman.” He moved away himself. As he moved away, Jinx knew she called it right. “”Name is Ymelo.”
“Jinx,” she said. “Give me the skinny.”
“Most are affected by the spells in the garden, but our species, the Vesani, aren’t. To make sure we don’t get sent to another madame, we make do by pretending. There is no one watching all the time, but it does seem like they track our movements, so we do walk around and go to the beds. As long as suspicion is low, she accepts this.” He handed her a book. “We are also a book club, it gives us something to do.”
Bingo. “I could like reading.”
“If you see Madame Jeb or a Baccai, then immediately stop reading and start acting,” Ymelo warned her.
Baccai. “I already had my head reemed by the League of Idiots Who Forgot. The Baccai run this place, right? Failed gods turned entrepreneurs.”
“Some do. Some don’t. Some are here making money off of us, while some are trying to actually save us. For safety though, if you see anyone who looks like a Baccai? Like a mishapen animal mistake, just be careful, they are on the top here,” he warned her. “You are welcome to the group, if you understand one thing. Every once in awhile, we are fed others. Their essences.”
“A kill’s a kill, I won’t stop you if you let me join,” Jinx agreed, knowing the best place to be in that place was right there.
Book reading. Fine. It was a book about learning about magical creatures. Looked like what they could read was pretty limited, but it was fine. After the two hours were almost up, Jinx gave the book back and headed back. The creepiness factor went up a lot. She saw people actually walking in the same direction, and they weren’t kissing. They looked confused, or sad. Lennon said the magic worked in different ways with them. Some would have no memory of being with someone. Some would, but couldn’t remember who it had been. Others were looking for someone they thought it had been, but it wasn’t them. Apparently it took several ‘romantic interactions’ before they even remembered each other.
Romantic her ass. Some were crying. Some were muttering to themselves with ‘not again’.
“Oh, you’re new?” One of them actually talked to her. “Sorry, I didn’t even see anyone new today. I just went in for someone. He’s really sweet. Sweetest person alive. Cutest curl. I just, I can’t find him now.”
Jinx may have found her way to survive in that place, but the gardens, would never be a good place.
After being injected with who knows what and stared at for a good two hours, Jinx was more than ready for a break. I have to do this. Or.
She remembered losing Silco. Wandering around with Isha. Finding Vi. Finding Vander. Then losing so much all over again, stuck in a prison and ready to just end it. That was when a real dork who tried to fight her just a few months ago, had to show her that she was the dork. So many times she wanted to kill off Powder, to make Silco happy. Then she was trying to kill Jinx, to make Vi happy. In the end? How the hell, she’d never understand. Anyhow. She was both. She had to be both, especially there.
Because she could only be Jinx for so long. An uncaring, resilient, kickass woman who would kill, fight, or tell people like it is! Polite was not in her vocab, guns and bombs were. But Jinx wasn’t something she could always be. It tore her down. Powder needed to breathe too. Without both sides, death or insanity would be the result. She was never more unhappy than when she tried to cut one from her.
And after the prodding, the headaches, and the Garden? She needed to relax. She needed to follow the nerd’s advice. No. She needed to follow Ekko’s advice. Powder needed to breathe. For at least one of these owners, she just couldn’t handle being Jinx. She could end the day soft, but she needed a break. These weren’t just hard days. She was being tested with who knew what, torturing her mind for the League of Runeterra, watching people ruin themselves and stay alert in that creepy garden. This next one? It should be okay.
It should be okay to drop her guard and be Powder.
Boat. What a name. “Hey, Boat.”
“Hello.” Boat came toward her.
“You kind of fit your namesake right now,” Powder said gently. “Um. How do I pamper you for two hours?”
“I am very pregnant,” Boat said as she came closer. “You just have to do something for me when I need something. You were recaptured, weren’t you?”
Oh, she noticed that. “Time was messed up. I saw myself too.”
“Oh. I need something.” She pointed to the chair. “Can you help me sit down?”
Powder gently helped her down. “There you go.”
“Are you okay?” Boat asked. “You look like your about to cry. What’s wrong?”
“That’s just. Me,” she said. “When I come back from the acting. I’m not normally. I mean. I am normally, but, normally isn’t what I use much.”
“You mask yourself very hard.” Boat understood. “This is yourself? You are letting it through?”
“Trying to.” She lifted her necklace. “This senses emotion, and so.” With that? If she could feel enough emotion when Meddler was with her, she could get Madame Jeb to burn him down. Once Meddler was out of the picture, she could use her skills, get the little yordle out, get Captain Teemo out and say screw it forever. Madame Jeb knew butkiss about her, her family would be fine. “I am sorry you have Madame Durham.”
“I am not, I love Madame Durham,” Boat said. “I get incredible bonuses I don’t from Jeb or Pompous. They all want physicality, with Madame Durham, I’ve never been touched by anyone. One day, Madame Durham will think that I might be pregnant, and then I get to go on vacation for two months.”
Vacation for two months? “What’s a vacation?”
“Home. I get to go home. To see my mother and father. My two sisters. Not only that, but I get to keep my children.”
“Do what now?” Hang on. “Don’t you have like 26 kids? She’s letting you keep them?”
“Hmm? Oh, my kind have very big litters,” Boat said to her. “Anywhere from 10 to 50. This isn’t a baby inside of me as much as eggs. They will grow and hatch and I will see them. I have a lot of nannies to help out. Also, at the end, as you can see? Madame Durham physically gets me someone to help watch over me in my last month.”
“Maybe.” Damn two months free. “What about after the vacation? Don’t they worry about you?”
“Oh no. They will wipe their minds of the whole time I am there. Just poof. Not a big deal,” Boat told her. “Nothing’s a real big deal around here. I understand you managed to snatch Little Bob. How did you do that?”
Little Bob. “I don’t think I even met him.”
“He must have seen you and been delighted then.” She had a shimmering smile. “Oh, Little Bob is the best. He is a giant, not a god or anything. His species has dwindled a lot, and he’s so big, most people are scared of him. He’s more of a gentle giant. When he buys, they are just for fun entertainment. Oh, show and tell, that was fun. If he really likes you, he usually lets you up on his shoulder up high where he can talk to you.”
“You mean he’s just a Chatty Katty?” Perfect. Two owners are easy.
“I tried once. I really did, but you have to be tough. He is a gentle giant with claws on his hands. They need softened every day. Even his gentlest touches can scratch. The woman he finally decides upon? He will buy magic to make them giant just like him.”
“A giant, huh?” That was crazy.
“He’s such a charmer. Honestly, if you ask him for just about anything sometimes, he’ll straight up give it to you.”
Oooooh. “What about . . . hurting others?”
“If someone hurt you or your feelings,” she said plainly. “He’s been hurt enough.”
“What about the-”
“Don’t ask for him to kill your master. That is the only one off the table. Now after he isn’t your master anymore, he would. He would probably do it for a honeymoon,” Boat teased. “I mean? If you get to be a favorite.” She sighed. “Oh, how I wanted to be. Pixie is always the one on his shoulder. I would get there a time or two, but Pixie is always stealing his attention. Fortunately, he isn’t interested in her at all.”
“Never met him, but I think I’m already in love with him.” Smash Meddler to fucking pieces. Now she had two ways to kill Meddler. By Madame Jeb getting mad, and a sweet giant.
“Who else did you get?” Boat asked.
“I’m poked and prodded by those Institution geeks, and I’m fighting for some big shot named Meat Claws. Also getting headaches from history with the League of Legendary Idiots. Also, Madame Jeb.”
“Her necklaces are par,” Boat judged her. “Jeb is terrible. See if you can lure Madame Durham to you.”
“No way. Why would I choose someone like that over Jeb?” Powder asked.
“Because. I don’t have to choose a man to get the job done. If you are with her, you will have to choose someone eventually, and asshole verses the same five assholes is not a choice I will make,” Boat said clearly. “Trust in a relationship is hard too. Knowing why everyone is there does not equal romantic vibes. I’m sure you saw that.”
“Yeah, love spelling is uber creepy,” Powder said. “Still. I know you probably have some kind of stake in that advice.”
Boat just smiled. “Of course I do. But? It doesn’t make it any less true.”
Powder took a deep breath. “Yeah.” It was true. There was a high chance Mister Perfect would not be in there. It was a book club, but for how long could she get away with that? This is a really big decision. Madame Jeb doesn’t rush the decision. The guys might all be creeps but I got a book club and time. Captain Teemo’s crew is still out there too. If they come and kill Meddler, then it’s over. Whereas?
“Your little head is just ticking away over there,” Boat said with a chuckle. “That’s good. You should consider all options. Everyone but Pompous, that woman is foul. Can you get something for my feet?
Powder looked around for some kind of footstool. Her ankles were huge, they were probably aching. Oh, she spotted one and brought it over. “Here we go.”
“Of course, if you are player for that kind of thing? You know you don’t have to use just her men,” Boat also added. “Just like you have Little Bob. If they can pay your rental fee, they are a choice.”
Oh. “What about other people that are trapped in this rental scheme?” Were they options?
“Oh, that’s not smart. You can have relationships, but trust me, it’s a bad idea. If there is a baby, then who gets to keep it? Which master lays claim to it? If yours doesn’t want it enough, you’ll have a rough eight month gestation knowing it will be taken once born.”
Right.
“I saw you as Jinx. As your role play self,” Boat said as she wiggled to lean on the side. “So while I do get a ten percent commission of the pricing if I do convince you to come to Madame Durham? I will tell you, right now, you have what it takes to knock everyone out of the running.”
Hm? “What do you mean?” Why was she leaning like that, was she hurting?
“Your pricing is going up and up. I don’t know if you understand how priceless you are becoming.”
“I’d rather be free to live my life than have that,” Powder said to her. “Do you need . . . help? You are at an awkward angle, Lady.”
“I am in the last month. I am going to get in weird positions sometimes,” Boat told her. “It was the only position that was comfortable, now it’s not, but-”
Powder moved toward her and tried to help.
“No, I can’t. I’m not feeling so well.” Boat burped. “Um? They are eggs, but like, I still get a lot of . . .” She was trying not to talk.
“Yikes.” Powder helped her throw up better. “Sparkly. Better I hope?”
“Ugh. Yes.” Boat wiped her mouth. “Yes. Can you help me backwards again?”
Powder moved her again laying more backwards again.
Boat yawned. Powder went to get her a pillow. She pulled her up a little and relaxed her in it. Sweet. Boat was just sleeping now. Powder took a seat in a chair too. That was less than half hour. A whole hour and a half to contemplate her messed up life.
She had time to think back about Ekko’s words again. She thought about the last time she saw Vi. Those eyes as she let go. I don’t really have a home anymore, but if I could just see them. Just long enough to say ‘I am here’. It all still felt so far away. I can’t leave until he’s dead.
She just watched Boat as she slept. She didn’t wake her up until her two hours were almost up. Boat apologized, but Powder said it was okay. It gave her time to think. Something that was pretty rare.